I'm not okay

Somewhere along the way

you have been made to believe

that you must be okay

you must not show sadness

you must not display fear 

you must not utter your loneliness 

you must not share your despair 

you must not exclaim the ache of your grief 

you must be okay

and when you must be okay you drown in your pain 

you become hardened or calloused by your suffering

you hide behind masks and your false sense of security 

because how dare you be viewed as weak 

how dare you be seen as broken 

how dare you be deemed inferior 

how dare you be imperfect

but what if you dared to show how you really felt?

what if you risked the chance of being seen as less than 

so that you can courageously be who you really are? 

would your heart break free? 

would the permission to feel grant you freedom to express? 

would the mask come off so you can breathe? 

I imagine it would. 

I imagine that the irony of allowing yourself 

to not be okay would somehow give you the 

power to be okay 

because the path to being okay- 

to being healed 

being loved 

being forgiven 

being whole 

will never be through denial or hiding

nor masking or pretending 

it will be through boldly saying when asked 

"Are you okay?" 

"No, I'm not okay."