A CONFESSION : Jeff Foster

My most crippling suffering and depression

became my greatest teacher.

Raw sorrow

ended up pointing me

to that place of total surrender,

to the giving-up of the war with life,

to who I really Am

beyond my story.

If you had told me this years ago

(that suffering was an invitation to grace)

I may have laughed at you,

called you a liar,

booted you out of the room.

I couldn’t hear it then.

I hear it now.

This is the paradox of suffering:

Life can hurt, hurt deeply,

but that hurt always contains an invitation

To let go.

That which threatens to destroy us

invites us home.

And then one day,

perhaps,

we look back at our suffering

With eyes of gratitude.

 

FINDING GOLD: Jeff Foster

If we run away from our sadness,

If we turn our backs on anger,

If we deny fear its inherent right to be here,

If we kick our pain out onto the cold, dark streets,

How will we ever know

That these weren’t precious gifts made of gold,

Forged in the fires of ourselves long ago?

 

ON CHANGE: Jeff Foster

The greatest change seems to happen

When we stop trying to change

And sink creatively into the mystery of the moment.

The greatest transformation seems to happen

When we stop looking for the ‘solution’

And end the war with the non-existent ‘problem’

The greatest healing seems to happen

When the ‘healer’ gets out of the way

And all of life’s energies are allowed to flow freely.

 

YES I AM BROKEN, BUT I AM WHOLE!: Jeff Foster 

You do not heal 'from' trauma.

You simply come to know yourself

as Life Itself.

And you turn towards the wounded place.

And you flush it with attention,

which is love.

And maybe the wound will always be with you.

Maybe you will always walk with the hurt.

But now, you hold it. It doesn't hold you.

You are the container, not the contained.

It doesn't control you any longer, the wound.

Because it is drenched in awareness now.

Drenched in You.

Loved by You.

Even celebrated by You.

You do not heal 'from' trauma.

You find healing 'in' the trauma.

You find yourself at trauma's sacred core.

The One who is always present.

The One who can bear

even the most intense feeling states.

And survive.

The Indestructible One.

The Infinite One.

The Powerful One.

You.

The trauma itself becomes a portal to God.

To the Absolute.

To the Safety of Yourself.

And you will cry out in joy,

and you will cry out in sadness,

and you will cry out in relief,

and you will cry out in revelation,

"Yes I am broken,

but I am whole!"

 

A MILLION SHADES OF GREY: Jeff Foster 

You can feel

excitement and sorrow

at the same time.

You can hold

boredom and bliss

together.

You can be the wide open space

for guilt and joy,

simultaneously.

'Contradictory' feelings often arise together.

As the mind struggles

to 'make sense' of experience,

seeking a non-existent

black-and-white world

(its version of 'safety').

But human experience is never black and white.

And 'opposing' feelings

can co-exist peacefully.

In the Sky of Presence,

the Sky of You.

Maturity, then,

is knowing yourself

as the space

for ALL feelings,

however uncomfortable.

No contradiction there.

No violence.

 

BE LOVE: Jeff Foster 

Don't seek love.

Be it.

Be what you are.

Be the unconditional Presence

in which every thought,

sensation, feeling, sound,

has a loving home.

Break the spell of unlovability.

Destroy the lie of unworthiness.

Be what you are.

Life Itself!